how about me enjoying the moment for once...

thank you India.

thank you terror

thank you disillusionment

thank you frailty.

thank you consequence.

thank you, thank you silence.

(driving back to Stellie)

(Athule, Portia and Boniswa at the playground)

(sunset on the winefarm)

(playing at the beach in Sommerset West)

(Athule, Christina, and Noluvo at Kayamandi)

(the sixth graders and their tutors)

(actvity time: Kayamandi)

(art)

thank you Africa.

thank you Providence.

thank you disillusionment

thank you nothingness.

thank you clarity

thank you, thank you silence.

bits and pieces....

...from the past two weeks. I seem to have fallen in love with lists. but i don't think i'm going about it in the right way....

-im done with school! 

-but no one else seems to be

-so im left to my devices

-which is DEFINITELY not a good thing

-I got a postcard from Courtney 

-she's in spain

-i took several yearbook pictures 

-from three different decades.

-i used these as my profile pics 

-i drank way way way to much juice. 

-i liked it

-my housemate bought 4 puppies

-i've been educating them in the ways of the world 

-this is a problem because i have a 5 second attention span

-so do they 

-i voted. 

-my moms birthday was on wednesday! 

-i love my mom. 

-speaking of love

-i've recently discovered the joys of trance, techno, and house music

-i enjoy blasting these at various hours of the day. 

-i love the Dutch

-and the Finnish 

-and most everyone else as well 

-i'm almost home

-thats weird 

-i might or might not have a sunburn 

-i cant tell 

-but it feels like it

-and it hurts. 

-i attempted to construct a schedule for next semester

-went for a bike ride instead 

-not my fault

-it was a nice day

-wrote a poem

-puppy ate it 

-i fell up some stairs

-because im oh.so. graceful. 

-ate an entire jar of nutella. 

-it was delicious. 

-took alot of strange pictures. 

-i liked those too. 

-woke up at six am

-immediatly fell back to sleep.

-four hours later. 

-danced my little heart out

-every night.

-talked to my advisors. 

-very very fun people :) 

-dressed up in 80s clothes

-rocked out in the living room

-been very very constructive 

-in that i've readjusted my room no lesss than five times now. 

i think that pretty much covers the important things. post some pictures soon! 

as always 

peace. love. grace

reflection: from the inside out.

I came here expecting to be strengthened, to be driven. Instead I have been broken, I've wandered, I have been stretched, examined and through it all I have been carried by Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. Last week was my last week with the kids at Kayamandi. All semester we haven't been able to take pictures of the kids and last week was our first and last time to do it. Looking back I can remember being surprised and even a little frustrated about not being able to bring my camera, not being able to capture but reflecting I can see how it allowed me to really focus on the moment. To capture hearts and laughter and memories, to burn these children in my spirit, something my camera would never be able to do. Last friday was our last dinner with my program and in the middle of sixty something plus people, I discovered community. Standing in the middle of a group that five months ago were complete strangers. People that have become friends and fellow travelers in our journey this strange and beautiful land. South Africa, I've discovered is an interesting teacher. The landscape has a way of lodging itself into the mind in such a way that forever ruins you for any other terrain. This country, this continent once you allow it to touch you, brands you, and you are never the same. SA is unconventional and uncomfortable and I think that in that unconventional, in that uncomfortable is where I have grown the most, where my mind and heart have expanded. I think back to my first month here, the excitement, the energy (the cold). I remember the middle months the anger, the confusion, the homesickness and i think of now. The growth, the lessons, the warmth. I've looked at letters from friends and family, emails, packages (even a visit!), the prayers, the words of encouragement slipped into my moments of hopelessness, my moments of emptiness . I've sought and found all sorts of treasures through a different pair of eyes. I have walked in shoes that have left me blistered. I have walked barefoot.  I have seen this space and I have become it. These are the things that have lifted me that have encouraged me.  Friends how faithful is our God. I am where and who I am today because of him. For he himself is our peace and I can now testify to that peace. It brought me here, it has carried me and comforted me. It has revived me. And this friends, is where my joy has been hidden. 

"For though I am absent from you in body, 

I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are

 and how firm your faith in Christ is."

as always. 

peace. love. grace.

sunshine sunshine everywhere!

Man at the Hermanus Whale Festival

Kids at the Judah Square Settlement

View down the street

Biscuits: our dysfunctional cat

abdul at the beach

jace at J-Bay

abby and me

all we are...we are.

I know its been awhile. I know I should have some good stories or at the least a good excuse. Sorry. I have neither. I have nothing to describe the moments, the sheer amount of life I've experienced in the last couple of weeks. Desmond Tutu, Catrin, Bobby. October. I haven't had the time to write any of it simply because I've been experiencing it and now I'm still left spinning in the afterglow. Where do I start, what to say-how do I show you the brilliant blue skies and everything that's been growing inside, filling up until there's nowhere else to flow but out. A little less that six weeks and this little heart will be on a flight back across the world. Sorrow mingles with joy mingles with sorrow mingles with joy in this house of cards and I am alive friends. I cannot resist, not today, I am alive. 

-midnight conversations under a beautiful summer moon 

-car rides into the unknown if only for a few hours 

-dancing out frustrations, confusions, and mistakes 

-laughter that echoes long after the sound has passed 

-excitement that renders me speechless 

-beauty mad complete in the knowledge of its Creator 

-being reminded of who I am and finding so. much. more (thank you katrina) 

four seasons and this ones already changing. life continues. I'm still meeting people. still being changed and I breathe. Inhaling and exhaling places and experiences, expectations, memories, disappointments discoveries. I have fallen, crawled and been lifted into grace. Friends, these are my words, this is what I bring to the table... 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above" 

peace. love grace.